Tag Archives: Lifestyle Tips

Depression


The original slogan for my blog was “under-spoken topics at a glance” (or something very similar, my memory is hazy on the matter). I feel that depression is too often spoken about by people who know nothing about it. Which, in a way, means that it is always spoken about and yet never discussed.

There are people all over the world telling you the right way and the wrong way of dealing with depression and the right way and the wrong way of dealing with loved ones that are suffering from depression. It is a very difficult situation to be in for either party, and the last thing you want to be told is that you’re doing everything wrong. (Granted when you are doing something incorrectly, you do need to be made aware.)

This post is not for identifying whether or not you are depressed or suffer from depression. If you feel that you are, I urge you to seek help from family members as well as medical professionals.

Based on what I’ve come across in my lifetime, I’ve found that there are a few methods that assist in lessening the pain that bursts of depression can bring. These methods may or may not be popular, but they have worked in most cases that I’ve come across.

To assist someone who is depressed due to a seemingly random burst of depression:

  • Change gears with whatever is going on. You most likely don’t know what triggered the burst, but if you just entirely change whats going on around you and whomever is depressed, you are likely to avert a meltdown.
  • Maintain visual presence. To do this is somewhat difficult for both parties for different reasons. But it will be worth it in the long run. Sometimes it is helpful just to know that someone else is there. It assists in keeping the despair to a minimum.
  • Talk about irrelevant topics, this can help with keeping their mind occupied on mundane topics that aren’t likely to cause any stress, which in turn keeps their mind off of the X factor that caused the sudden depression.
  • If you’re a brave one and feel you know the person well, I suggest talking about problems they are having that you can help them resolve. (Please note, helping them resolve and resolving for them are two totally different things.)
  • Depending  on the person, suggesting an activity they enjoy could do the trick. Just make sure it isn’t something that has any negative attachments. (Ex: If the depressed person fears they overweight, you wouldn’t want to suggest baking a huge cake.)
  • Sometimes it helps to just listen. In my experience, people who are prone to explosive bursts of depression most likely keep the majority of their problems to themselves. This means they most likely don’t voice any of their problems and as a result may grow to feel that they should not. It can help the person greatly if you are just able to listen to them and make them recognize that their problems are important.

These are just a few things that have worked for me over the years when I have had to assist people with bursts of depression, but every person is different. My suggestion is to use this as more of a general guideline than a specific instruction.

Something to be aware of when assisting someone who is suffering from a bout of depression (this will obviously vary between people but is very common all the same): Be aware that, when dealing with someone with any level of depression, they are likely to create the most negative possible wording or understanding of anything you say. So, unless you are very good with your wording or are confident of your ability to assist someone, prolonged speech on your part is not suggested. Try to keep anything that you say to someone in a depressed state to a low word count. This will help you choose your words and have more impact.

And that’s all for today’s post! Hope everybody is having a great day.

Be kind, and do something nice for a stranger today.

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Love


So, it’s come to this. The time when we have “The Talk”. No, I kid. Sorry to set anyone back however many years to that time when their parent… Ah. Nevermind.

Today I want to talk to you about something that is in all of our lives, affects us all, and yet most of us actually know very little about. I want to talk to you about love. Love can be one of the most amazing feelings in the world with a plethora of good things that accompany the good feeling. Some of us may spend our entire lives looking for it, some of us spend our entire lives studying it, some of us live a life enjoying the love we have. No matter how you think about it, love has touched your life in some way. It feels good to be loved, it feels good to give love. Love is a very good thing.

Before you can love  though, you need to be able to love yourself. There are a wide variety of feelings that I might mention in another post later, but for now, I’ll just say a blanket statement. If you do not love yourself, any feeling that you will have for someone else will not be everything it can be.  Love is a very important thing. You can love yourself, you can love your family, friends, pets, world, country, town, and just about anything you can imagine. But you won’t be able to love anything fully or feel deserving of the love you receive if you can’t first love yourself.

Think of it this way: If you can’t love yourself, everything you do has been essentially cut down by a percent number. Lets say 25% for now. (That percent is based on nothing. It is only there for the sake of continuing discussion.) You love your (insert noun here) but there are always things you won’t be willing to do, conversations that won’t happen, fears you have, etc. It can be anything, and it can very simply be that you just aren’t giving your all. You are who you are, and before anyone or anything else can experience the full power of your love, you need to be able to love yourself. Accept who you are, respect who you are, love who you are, and then you can really give your love in its fullest potential where it is deserved.

Once you’ve fully accepted yourself for who you are and you genuinely love yourself, the second step would be to make sure that you can accept someone else’s love. It’s easier said than done, but a necessary step. If you were to simply love someone/something but you couldn’t ever accept that they love you the same way that you love them then there would inevitably be problems at some point. They might be small at first, but such things will always escalate if left untended. Letting someone else love you is a step that must be taken after you have first loved yourself. If you do not love yourself, you won’t be able to let someone love you. Your mind will just turn against you in some sort of fashion similar to, “I don’t love me, how can this person love me?” Don’t do that. You are who you are, you are unique in your own fashion and you are worthy of love. Everyone is worthy of love. So don’t let yourself or anyone else say otherwise.

The third part of this process is to give love. It can feel amazing when you give love. There are so many powerful emotions and they are all very focused.

“It CAN feel amazing.” What do you mean by that?

Well, I mean it can. As in, there is a good chance that it will feel amazing. But, if you give your love where it is not deserved then it will not feel as good. In fact, there are some situations out there where giving your love when it isn’t deserved can be dangerous to your health. A popular celebrity couple comes to mind on that matter, actually. Such good role models. With celebrities being kind enough to show us the dangerous side of what can happen when you give love where it isn’t deserved, the point is made rather clearly. Always make sure that when you are giving your love to someone it is to someone you respect who respects you in return. The ideal situation will be a mutually beneficial relationship. This doesn’t only mean between partners, but in general. For example:

You love nature, you water your plants and enjoy the smell and the sight of them. In return, you are given pleasing and relaxing scenery as well as scents. Maybe this is a weak example, but it makes the point. It is a mutually beneficial relationship.

In a relationship where one person/thing is harming the other, this is obviously unhealthy. This would be a situation where love is not deserved or just plainly shouldn’t be given.

I already know about avoiding bad relationships. What can you teach me about good relationships? About real love?

Well, here’s something that may surprise many of you.

Being in love and allowing love into your life can be very healthy for you, not just emotionally and spiritually, but physically as well!

Being in love can do so many things for you! I’ll just give you a short list to show you some of the wonderful things it can do.

  • People in love have been found to have higher life expectancy. (Source) 
  • They are happier. (Myself,and  Source )
  • The intense feeling of being in love has similar effects to heavy pain medications. You will actually feel less pain! (Cool Fact: The study of how love affects the brain has created a field in neuroscience  to try and create better pain relieving drugs.) (Source) 
  • Love makes you healthier overall. Various studies have taken into consideration the differences in eating habits and all other variables that happen from person to person. The overall consensus is that Love in its own right makes your body function better. (Source)
  • People who are in love are typically more successful in financial ventures.
Don’t let this small list fool you, though. The benefits that love give us are infinite. We have only just begun to study what love does to our body. Everything we are discovering about love and how it effects us has only been good. In life, there is almost always a negative side to everything. With love, this is only partially true. The negative side of love comes when there is a loss, but the emotional feeling of love itself  has no negative drawbacks. It can only make you happier and healthier.

But, like I mentioned a moment ago, things happen in life that we cannot control that cause us to no longer be in love, or we lose loved ones as they pass on. There are various reasons for why a loving relationship may end. There have been a number of studies done on what happens when people are not in love or when the object/person of their affection is no longer with them. The negative effects are fairly large in number and vary greatly. But I put together another list to highlight a few of the common problems.

  • Serious depression
  • Physical Pain (Source)
  • Loneliness (Source) 
  • Obsessive Compulsive Disorder (Interestingly enough, being in love causes the same chemical release as OCD hence why some people are literally obsessed with their partners [Source] )
  • Increased likeliness of heart attack and heart failures (This happens more so during a mourning period) (Source)
  • Clogged arteries
  • Overall lower life expectancy (Source) 

With all of this taken into consideration, it is an obviously good thing to be in love and to give your love. It’s important to love yourself, important to let others love you, and important to make sure you love those that deserve your love. Remember and remember well: You are who you are, you will love who and what you will. Love needs mutual respect, mutual kindness, love needs a mutually beneficial relationship to exist. When you have love, you will not need to ask what love is. You will not need to ask anyone what you feel, you will know. Be passionate. Be who you are. Live, love, and be happy.

Be kind, and do something nice for a stranger today.

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Wiggly Wednesday


Get Your Wiggle On!

You know, I’ve been coming here awhile, reading these posts. And I find myself becoming slightly… Wiggly. Is this feeling natural?

Absitively! You know, it’s a great feeling when you let yourself Wiggle. It is such a great feeling in fact, I’ve dedicated a whole day every week to post about about it. Wiggly Wednesday. This week in particular I feel so very Wiggly that I decided to include the usage of phony words such as absitively!

Such things can be the very definition of Wiggling.

Wiggle away from the stress of your life. Allow yourself the Wiggle room that everyone needs, use a made up word, eat an entire pizza to yourself, play games for a day, relax in the sun for an afternoon and curl up with a good movie/book in the evening, do anything you’d like! Today is YOUR day to Wiggle!

Afraid to Wiggle? Afraid you won’t know how or what to do? Fear not! I have suggestions for you.

  • Play with your animal (dog, cat, jaguar, mountain lion, liger, pig, horse, zebra, guinea pig, ferret, bird, and so on. )
  • Relax in the sun for a day doing absolutely nothing
  • Read a book outside (In the shade or the sun!)
  • Play a friendly game or do a fun activity! (soccer, football, frisbee, tennis, lacrosse, baseball, tennis, hockey, fencing, basketball, bicycling, and much much more!)
  • Read a book with your children/spouse
  • Visit a museum/local attraction
  • Plant a tree!
  • Learn a fun fact about your neighborhood/town
  • Pick up a new magazine and see if you like it
  • Eat a meal you don’t let yourself normally have
  • Take some time off work to spruce and organize your office (or mess it up a little if it’s TOO organized!)

Those are just a few ideas for how to get your Wiggle on, there are so many options out there in the world for you. Let nothing stifle your Wiggle!

Speaking of organizing the office, I came across a delightful wall mount that will help you get organized while fulfilling that part of your soul that longs for some Wiggle. Behold! The Disorganized Organizer!

Neat Wall organizing tool.

As I’ve said before, Wiggling does not mean that you are a slacker.

It does not mean you don’t work hard.

Wiggling means quite simply and frankly

that you are you.

You are free to Wiggle.

-Wiggle-

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Be Kind, For There Is No Reason Not To Be


Here at ComplicatedMadeSimple I will always try to help you the best I am able. The reason I do this is simple: I want to help you. But in today’s post, I’d like to point something out to you, the reader. Along with almost every post here I write at the end: Be kind, do something nice for a stranger today. I’d like to use today’s post to discuss that a bit.

If you’ll indulge me, I’m also going to give you a brief view into me for those of you that don’t know.

I am generally a very nice person. I feel that it takes a good amount of someone else’s effort to get me to be anything otherwise. It is with that in mind that I am confident saying that I am a very nice person nearly all of the time. Being the nice person that I am is sometimes quite difficult. I do things for others when I would sometimes rather do something just for myself. I give to other people when I am barely able to give. I do my best to try to make sure those closest to me are as happy as I can help them be. Doing this is very rewarding, just not in the material sense.

I am able to go to sleep every night because I know that I do not have guilt over any of my actions from that day. Throughout the day I may wish that I knew more about certain things so that I could help more, but whether I choose to go and learn more in that day or not, I will not be able to help someone right then, and that is okay. I have no illusions about wanting to help everyone.  It it because I am consistent in my effort to help people as much as I am able that I am able to move forward in so many ways. Life will always be difficult, and there will always be another hurdle after you have long since run out of energy. There may come a time where you are unable to make it over that next one, but you’ll make it past many more if you are able to free yourself from the “guilty weight.”

All that being said, I used a quote in Saturday’s post.

Be kind to those that meet you as you rise, you may pass them again as you fall.

The above Irish quote has been used all over the world with different variations all resulting in the same meaning. The meaning is simple: Be nice to those you meet when you are in power, you might come across them again when you are without it. Taken in a general light, be nice because it will never hinder you, only help.

We share our world with more than seven billion people. It has become even more important than it ever has been to be nice to other people known and unknown with the sole reason of being nice for the sake of being nice. You may find your actions and inactions harmless because you do not see a direct cause of what you have done to someone else’s day, but you do effect them. The smallest movement can create the waves. Otherwise known as the Butterfly Effect (a small part of Chaos Theory).

In an effort to reduce your daily stress, daily problems, and just all around daily sorrow, I’d like you to be nice to someone you don’t know, or even someone you see every day. Be nice for the sake of being nice. The reaction that you will get from a total stranger will be well worth any amount of effort you put in to being nice. People may come to expect you to be nice after you’ve known them for an amount of time, or they may expect it because you are their family member or other important person in their life. So obviously they may have slightly less gratitude than someone who has absolutlely no connection to you. But the feeling that you will get inside will still be a good feeling no matter who you are nice to.

It may be considered tacky to say that being nice is its own reward, but it really is. You usually do get more than the simple reward of just being nice, though. Typically, you will also get the gratitude from whomever you are nice to and, more importantly than that, you will have made someone else’s day better than it was.

An example:

Someone’s car breaks down, you know absolutely NOTHING about cars. Most people in this situation would just drive by and assume that someone else is helping them or that they’ve called someone.

You are the one who stops and offers your phone to this person to let them call whomever they need for assistance. You discover that you’re either the first car that has come by and they are grateful, or you are the 50th. (It happens.) Everyone thinks that someone else will help someone. You’re never going to make someone else’s day worse by offering to help them. If anything, you’ll make them happy that more than one person is willing to be there for a total stranger.

So please, do it for yourself, and do it for all the seven billion other people in the world.

Be kind, do something nice for a stranger today.

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Wiggly Wednesday


Breathe In The Fresh Air

It might not seem very important, especially for those of you who have jobs that get them outside on a daily basis. But I’d like to take today’s post to remind everyone that living on our planet is a mutual relationship between you and the rest of the living beings on the planet. It’s important for you to go outside for some amount of time daily. The sun is good for you, as is the simple act of breathing in the outside air. If you can, get away from the crowded streets, the well-lit buildings, the loud noises of automobiles constantly grumbling by.

Courtesy of Cadence Gamache, my fiancee

Deciding to take my own advice, my fiancee, her dog, and I all decided to go for a nice hike. Sky here was happy to be released from her leash. 🙂

So, take your dog for a walk. Give yourself an excuse to turn off the computer early today. Go home. Get outside. Be comfortable. Take a deep breath. Our world is a beautiful place, but it can be very easy to take it for granted. So soak it all up, take the time to be outside today, and see where you live with fresh new eyes. Do so right now! I’ll wait a few moments.

..

.

Calm.

The world is an excitingly relaxing place.

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