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Today’s post will primarily focus on accepting who you are. Choosing to be yourself is a very large topic, and for that reason I’m going to break it up into a number of posts with a primary focus. As such, since accepting who you are is a sub topic for being yourself, there will be other sub topics mentioned today that I will not fully elaborate on until later. But rest assured! I will elaborate in the fullest detail that I am able.
“Be who you are and say what you feel because those who mind don’t matter and those who matter don’t mind.”
Thanks to Dr. Seuss for the quote.
Being yourself sounds rather simple, and while I wish it was it’s something so many of us lose in our day to day routines. It may be subtle at first, but before you can even begin to realize what’s happening, you’ve become someone else. Its easy to forget who you are if you’re not vigilant; as an example: it can be as simple as lighting a cigarette when you’re just the sort of person who wouldn’t smoke. No special reasons, its just not something you do. There are plenty of examples out there, feel free to think of one more personalized to you, I’m sure that there are many. Its as simple as choosing to wear formal attire when you simply don’t just to impress someone. It really can be anything at all, the first steps to losing yourself are always small, and almost always overlooked.
If you’ll indulge me, I’d like you to take a moment to look at your life for a moment now.
- Do you find yourself doing things that you’re not entirely comfortable with?
- Do you try to impress people doing what you think they’d want?
- Do you change your clothes from what you’d like to what you’re expected to wear?
- Have you ever had to hold your tongue to keep from speaking your mind because you feel your words are undesired?
- Do you frequently feel out of place, a person in a suit in a sea full of penguins?(Your colors are the same, but that’s where the similarities end.)
This list of questions could go on forever, feel free to ask yourself more your situation appropriate questions, these are just some examples to get the gears moving inside your mind.
The point of asking yourself these questions is so that you may identify your situation. It’s easy to overlook personal matters like this one. It’s not so much that we’re trained to lose ourselves as it is we’re trained to be obedient. This can have its uses, you can make a very good peon in the grand scheme of things, or if you break through the mold and keep yourself or find yourself again. You can live a very fulfilling life creating your own energy and being your own source of happiness. Pretty nice idea, right?
It certainly is!
Alright, I’ve identified that I am not behaving how I’d like to. I want to be me, but I’ve forgotten who I am. How do I find myself?
Assuming you’d ask yourself a question like the one above, then there are plenty of ways to find yourself once more. The first steps are ALWAYS the hardest. I promise you that! That’s not to say that the entire road may not be more difficult, but once you are past the first ones, the rest will fall into place.
An Example: You have had a 50lb burden upon you your whole life, when you suddenly lift this burden you find yourself much lighter. The simple movement of walking may become too easy. It becomes very easy to stumble, fall, scrape yourself, and generally lose sight of where your feet are.
Be Yourself: Acceptance
You’ve probably realized by now whether or not you are yourself or just someone else’s idea of who you are. If you are yourself, then hurrah! I am happy for you, however if you’re not then good news is ahead for you! You can be yourself, and like everything worthwhile in life it takes effort.
You are who you are, you must be happy with yourself, and you cannot allow outside judgement to influence who you are. To do so means that you are being someone other than yourself. It’s not always a bad thing, and usually other people have only the best intentions with their judgments. But you must accept who you are, and be who you are.
Okay, thats simple enough. Be me, don’t be what other people tell me that I am. Be who I am as dictated by me. But I still don’t know who I am.
That’s totally okay! The world is filled with people trying to find themselves, and it may take you awhile to truly find out who you are. But in trying to find yourself, you are going to be yourself for the duration and you will become your own person. Being yourself is as simple as it is complicated. There are entire books dedicated to being yourself, it is a great topic to fully explore, and I urge you to do so if you’re the sort that enjoys to read. I’ve always enjoyed it myself.
In the end however, it comes down to this: You must be able to accept who you are. It’s a respectable quality. The person who is always nice, accepts that they are a very nice person. It will have drawbacks, they may be “walked all over”. People may abuse the kindness that is given, but depending on the person, they know that will happen and they accept that their person is a very kind if not too kind person. It will happen.
The person who is opposite of this is true as well, if you are a person who is filled only with mean and negative thoughts. It will show, you will be a very mean person no doubt. And people will not like you because of it, and that is okay if that is who you are. You are exactly who you are, and there is no other person you should be than you. The mean person will accept that people will not like them, and they will still be the same mean person that they are. This person will not be shaken by people disliking them.
Being who you are is tricky, you must be steadfast in your beliefs. You must know your beliefs, you must know what type of person you are in your core. When it comes to the thick of it, you have always been who you are at your core, all you need to do is sync up your core with your exterior. Those close to you know your core, those less so only know your exterior. When these two things match up, the unintentional secrets you have will cease to exist. Your life will become less burdened, and overall, you’ll become a much happier person.
Its a terrible feeling to feel as though you don’t belong, its even worse to feel that you must hide who you are to belong anywhere. When you accept, and embrace who you are.
*Core person: The person you are deep inside, there may be many layers that you show the world, you may react differently on a situation to situation basis. But deep down, this is the type of person you are. Through it all, in the very best and very worst situations, this factor does not change. Most people have developed their “Core” responses by the time they’re 10 I’ve found. To date, if you know a person well enough, you most likely know their “Core” person even if they themselves do not. Query: Do you know your Core self? Or someone else’s? Let me and the readers know in the comments below.
When you take a moment to evaluate yourself, your life, your level of contentment, you know fairly quickly if you are doing, if you are being, if you’re behaving, and overall if you are living the life you want to live. Don’t be afraid of the unknown, don’t be afraid to lose those that don’t matter. Life always finds a way of sorting itself out if you put in the effort.
The next post will continue Be Yourself: Knowing when its time.
Be kind, do something nice for a stranger today.